Oh y’all. Gaslighter.

Dear Natalie Maines,

I’ve spent the past couple of weeks absorbing Gaslighter. I’ve been dancing around my office, humming songs whenever someone aggravated me, and secretly kicking my feet under the desk during Zoom meetings. I listen to the lyrics and my blood boils. I want to find him and rip him a new asshole.

I am so digging the Irish dance winners on the cover.

I never really keep up with celebrity relationships, so I dug a little deeper. You know, sometimes you get an impression of someone on first glance, but this one shocked me. I can see how he put on a good show, playing the romantic husband. What an abject asshole.

I have to say, though, you have a magical way of turning the tragedy of a broken marriage, infidelity, and a crushed heart into an asskicking album. I have found myself singing those lyrics along with you, and god damn do I want to take you to a mountain retreat with bunch of friends, a couple of shotguns, a couple good bottles of whiskey, and a bunch of pictures of a lying asshole cheater.

The songwriting since almost forgives this Karen hair-do.

Gaslighter – The Chicks (Go give it a listen.) The kids would say it’s a banger, or they would laugh at me for saying they’d say that.

You write songs like a woman writing for her friends to show up and sing at the asshole’s birthday party. You know that urban legend about Phil Collins and “In The Air”? Where he wrote the song because he saw the guy watching someone else drown, and he made sure the guy was on the front row when he played the song, so that the dude KNEW he was being called the hell out? We are talking that level of absolute badass and petty. But I hope you take some joy in knowing that he’s GOING to hear the song. And I hope it haunts his ass forever.

She may be small, but she is mighty.

I should have known that the same person that wrote and sings “Not Ready To Make Nice” would have a couple of ass kicking songs in her. I hope you continue to process healing your heart, and I hope you always continue to write some awesome music.

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